I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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