So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
