I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
