Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
