I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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