You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
