I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize