well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
