Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
