hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
