Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
