So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
