he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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