I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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