I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
