no you cant smoke seaweed
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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