That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
