my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
