You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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