it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
People in love make me want to vomit
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
