R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
