I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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