i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
