John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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