btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
