Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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