4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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