took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
