I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
