This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
