I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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