I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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