I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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