dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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