Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
