I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
