watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
party gras won. party gras always wins.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
