go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
