Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
