how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize