pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
