dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
