This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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