OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
