And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
