Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
