I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
