i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
