names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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