so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
