If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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