Sry I called you an 8
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
