Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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