all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
