I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
