saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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