I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
