Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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