I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
