Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My vagina is officially offended.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
