Tell her she can't have a vagina
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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