And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
