Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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