If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize