and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Text me some of your sweat
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
