if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
