Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
