Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
