I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
