the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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