I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
