Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
