I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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