first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize